Cinematic Haiku

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

The Life of Brian (1979)

Look on the bright side.
"Alright! I am the Messiah!
NOW FUCK OFF!" He says.

Trainspotting (1996)

Not constipated?
Try "Worst Toilet in Scotland"
To get your pills back

Only the Strong (1993)

Learn Capoeira,
Take back the school, teach the kids.
"This your blade, 'Eat Shit'?"

There's Something About Mary (1998)

Ted pines for lost love,
Hires a private eye.
"Hey, is that hair gel?"

Dr. Strangelove, Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)

Funny in the head,
General sends the warheads.
Mein furher! I can valk!

Monday, May 17, 2004

Blade Runner (1982)

It's "retirement"
What my wife called me: cold fish
Want more life, fucker.

Bowling for Columbine (2002)

Exploring culture
Of firearms and guns.
Shame on Mr. Bush!

Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)

Liquid killer says,
"I know this hurts. Call to John."
Skynet's by the balls.

Sunday, May 16, 2004

Showgirls (1995)

Razzie winning trash
Something wrong with your nipples?

Pulp Fiction (1994)

She powders her nose
Get hurt for a foot massage
He looks like a bitch?

Super Size Me (2004)

Fast food for a month
And see what it does to you.
George Bush or Jesus Christ?